Tuesday, October 30, 2012

When I met my Willa

MY WILLA I LOVE YOU
My Willa
The greatest thing in life is my wife Willa. We got married back in 06 at Turtle Point on the American side of Niagara Falls.
We met at Walmart in 04 because I smiled at her and she smiled back. Back in 03 I lost my wife Linda after 43 years of happy marriage. She was a happy healthy lady one day and dead the next. She died of a brain aneurysm. I had no mother no father no brother or sister no son or daughter and no wife. Life didnt mean much to me anymore.
Willa lost her husband to a motor cycle accident back in 02. He left for a ''ride'' one day and never came home alive. Such is life.
We ''dated'' at the Walmart coffee shop for some time. She thought I was a maintenance man in a furniture factory and I learned she was a nurse in a rehab center in Boone. We went slow and got to know each other. Sometimes we would go to the Sagebrush Steak house for dinner and then go up on the ''mountain'' and sit and talk and watch the traffic go by.
She finally invited me to ''dinner'' at her house in Boone and it was a disaster. The carrots were not ''done'' in the beef stew, there was one potato in the potato salad that was not completely cooked and she had ''sweetened the tea'' TWICE. I think she was a bit nervous to say the least. The green beans were really good and so was the home made bread. We sat and talked on the sofa for a while and I excused myself to go home because it was getting dark and I had almost 40 miles to go to get back home. I kissed her goodbye on the porch and as I was leaving she shouted........ ''WAIT A MINUTE''......''I MADE DESSERT''....... ''PECAN PIE, WITH ICE CREAM ON TOP''...... I took a pass on the pie for fear she may have forgotten to shell all the pecans. In desperation she shouted after me....'' IM A GOOD COOK,,,,,,,,,, LOOK HOW BIG I AM''.......She was not ''big'' but I guess all women think they should lose a few pounds.... we still laugh about that meal. After that we started seeing each other on a regular basis. I finally told her that I was not been a maintenance man in a furniture factory, I told her that I had owned the furniture factory. Our relationship got more personal after that and I finally started having a reason to stay alive again. We dated for a while and I asked her if she had ever been traveling in a motor home. She said no and that she had never been to the outer banks here in NC. She had never been anywhere to see anything. I told her that ''this will change'' if you stick with me. She took a weeks vacation and we went to the outer banks and then down to Wallace to meet her children. Life was good again. I told her that I lived to travel and that she should quit her job so we would be free to travel. She had rental property to supplement her income and I suggested that she should quit the nursing job because I had enough money for both of us. Strange as it may seem we did not ''live together'' at that time. I had great trepidation concerning My Willa. I was not sure that I could truly love again and I absolutely did not want to ''use this lady'' or ''hurt her'' in any way. True, we slept together in the coach and sometimes on the weekends at her house but she still lived in Boone and I in Granite Falls. We would take week long trips in the coach and come back home. Her to Boone and me to Granite Falls. In 05 I proposed that we go to Alaska for four months or so. She was delighted and we left in June and returned in October. Linda and I had been to Alaska in 2000 so I knew my ''way around'' and I was able to show My Willa all the fun stuff between NC and Fairbanks and everything in between. Life was good to say the least. When we returned from Alaska I proposed marriage to My Willa. I figured that if we could spend 120 days together in a 33 foot motor home and still liked each other and that we should get married and spend our lives together. She said ''YES''..... I bought a diamond ring for her and she spent the next months ''Glowing'' and ''Showing''............. In July of 06 I made this wonderful lady my wife and life is good. We ''honeymooned'' in Nova Scotia for a couple of months, came home, put on two front tires on the coach and went to California for a while and then to Florida for the winter. I lost 9 pounds but I smiled a lot......... (nuff said 'bout that)
Since then we have traveled to 49 states and most of Canada. We have logged about 70 thousand miles on the coach and needless to say ''LIFE IS GOOD''. We have been back to Alaska on our second honeymoon on a two week cruise on the Tahitian Princess going up the inside passage.
My Willa and I share life. We are still very much in love and we love to be with each other. She is my life, my wife and my best friend and I truly believe that I could not live without her by my side. We can talk and laugh and sometimes cry together. We share our lives and our love for each other and it is my wish that everyone could have the wonderful life that we share. True, sometimes rarely, we have a difference but it is always put away before bed time and it is usually over something really stupid that means nothing in the greater plan of life as it were. Mere words can not express my feelings for this lady. She is the sunshine that warms my face on a cold day and the cool breeze of summer evenings. She is the warm rain to grow my life and the soft winds that change the seasons. She is all to me and I would be nothing without her. She is my love, my life, my darling wife and when God decides to take one of us, my prayer is that it will be me for I could not and would not live without My Willa


Seajay the sailor man …...
(i love my baby girl)

Monday, March 30, 2009

Montana Fishing

we were in Cody Wyoming. We were heading out forYellowstone but I wanted to go trout fishing while in Cody.
There are many trout tackle shops in Cody so I told Willa that I was going to look into some trout fishing. She said she was going to hang out at the van and enjoy some reading. I got in the tracker and headed out looking for a tackle shop.
I stopped at ‘’bobs trout shop’ and went up to the counter.
‘’I want to go trout fishing. What do I need’’
bob started setting tackle on the counter.
Here is the short list of items he suggested
2 pc fly rod . bamboo hand made signature series $229.00
1 fly reel . All ball bearing, auto rewind, chrome $199.00
100 feet of floating fly line with tapered leader $ 50.00
one set of chest waders, lined for warmth $129.00
one plaid shirt with deep top pockets $ 40,00
the list went on including a gps unit, bear spray a map of local rivers, bug spray, a fishing hat, a fishing vest, a hand made creel to hold the fish I catch, a hand made net for lifting the fish out of the water and lots of other ‘’stuff’’ that I have forgotten now.
Bottom line, the total was little less than a grand without the fishing license.
I told bob I would get back with him on this and I sneaked out of the store.
I drove down the street to the local Wall Mart and went to the fishing department.
I asked some kid if they had a ‘’trout fishing’’ outfit and he showed me to isle 15. There it was.. The complete outfit for trout fishing.
It included everything you needed from the 6 piece imitation bamboo fly rod with genuine plastic reel and line, fishing vest and hat. A set of chest waders made from the reinforced 6 mill polly complete with suspenders. A large box of imitation flies that are hand made by people in china. A map of some foreign country, a compass, a giant ¾ ounce bottle of bug/bear spray. All a man could need to go trout fishing ………. $59.95 plus tax.
I asked the kid if he knew a place I could go fishing if I bought this outfit. He said he sure did . He said his friend knew a guy that was distantly related to a man that had a ranch that had a river that was just teeming with trout. He could give me the directions.
I bought the $59.95 outfit and listened carefully to the instructions. He mentioned that the owner of this land liked Coors beer and those ‘’sweet sixteen donuts’’ and it might be a good idea to carry some to give to him.
I bought the kit and headed out. You have to remember that this kid was not real accurate with his instructions to this fishing spot. I followed as best I could but I am sure I made a couple of wrong turns but I finally arrived at a gate. I opened the gate and proceeded down a dirt road thru another gate and toward a hill. Excitement was overwhelming and I pressed on toward the edge of the hill .. I didn’t realize that the other side of the hill was a cliff. By the time I realized that this was a very steep drop-off it was too late. I bumped over the edge and did a wild slide down the other side toward the river. With all the wheels locked on the tracker and panic in my eyes I approached the river at breakneck speed. Lumps and bumps and many ‘cow pies’ later I arrived at the bottom of the hill with a cotton wood tree jammed against the front of the car.. One broken head light and a bent bumper no matter, I was on the Madison river . During my ride down the hill the bumps had made the Coors beer pop out of the pack. One of them had ruptured and did a fishtail all over the tracker spraying everything with beer. The sweet sixteen bag of donuts had also ruptured and donuts were kinda scattered all over the Tracker.
No matter I was on the ‘Madison river’ and in trout heaven.
When I got out of the tracker several cows came walking along the river bank toward me. This distracted me and I stepped into a fresh pile of cow poop. I said shux … I went in over my shoe top and my sock and my sneaker instently turned green. I said shux. I went to the back of the tracker and got out my fishing kit. I opened it and put the six piece imitation bamboo fly rod together. One of the sections kept falling out so I took some duct tape and taped the rod together at all the joints. I said shux. I got the reel out and discovered that one of the attachment tabs was missing so I taped the reel to the rod and installed the line. I didn’t know that the line had to be treated with wax in order to float. I put the tapered leader on the regular line but I got it backwards with the heavy end forward. I said shux ….
I took out the fishing vest and discovered it was the size that would fit a person about half as big as me. I put the vest on and when I touched my hands together in front of me the vest ripped up the back. At least it fit better now. The hat was a size 6 which is way too small for me but I put the string under my chin and that sorta held the hat on my head so long as I did not look down.
I reached for the waders and found that the had a hole in the left leg. I said shux … out came the duct tape again and I put a silver ‘’x’’ over the hole. I slid my left foot (the one with the cow poo on the shoe) into the wader and it slid right in all the way to the bottom. No problem except the clear plastic now had cow poo from the knee down. …. I propped myself against the tracker and slid my right leg into the waders. The only problem was that my right sneaker was very dry and it kinda stuck in the right leg of the waders about a foot from the bottom. I pushed hard to get the shoe in wader, lost my balance, my hat fell off my head and I fell over putting my hand in a large fresh cow pie to stop my fall. I wiped as much of the cow poo off my hand on the side of the tracker…. I said shux again…. I got back up and finally got my right shoe into the waders without tearing the material. I put the suspenders over my shoulders and found they were way too short. I adjusted them all the way out and they were still too short. I pulled the waders way up till the crotch was cutting into me and got the suspenders attached. I leaned over to pick up my hat and it felt like someone had castrated me with a rope.
I took the fly rod and ‘’fished up’’ my hat and got out the flies. I popped open the package and dropped about half the flies on the ground. I took the ones that didn’t hit the ground on to the fishing hat. I put the hat back on my head and put the string under my chin. I picked one of the best looking flies on the leader. I reached into the package and pulled out the genuine plastic fish creel and my machine made dip net,
I was ready for the river. I decided it would be a good idea to have a bite to eat before going fishing so I opened the door of the tracker and found a beer and some of the cleanest donuts and flopped in the seat for a snack.
The cows had been watching this whole procedure with great interest. I think they though I was going to feed them or something.
It should be understood that when you fish for trout you should get into the river and fish down stream so you don’t frighten the fish.
It should also be understood that even thought the water looks nice it is usually moving faster than it appears and that it usually is running over slick rocks.
Anyhow, I grabbed my trusty six piece rod with the taped joints and the genuine plastic fishing reel that was taped to the handle of my genuine imitation split bamboo fly rod and my genuine hand tied Chinese made fishing fly and I approached the Madison river with all the determination of a bull fighter going into combat.
I looked over the embankment and found that the ‘’river’’ was about three feet down from the to of the embankment. I grabbed the cotton wood tree that I had smashed into with the tracker. I kinda swung one leg down to the river and hung onto a limb while I got the other foot into the water.
The water was about two foot deep and running about three hundred miles per hour. I said shux …..
When I finally got my courage up I turned loose of the limb. The rock I was standing on was very slick and I lost traction with my right foot. It slid over the side of the rock … I said shux….
Things kinda went into slow motion about then.
When I lost my footing I jammed the genuine imitation split bamboo fly rod down on the bottom of the river for support. This was almost worthless because the rod bent and separated at one of the taped joints. Both feet went up in the air and I fell butt first into water that was just slightly above freezing. The waders instantly filled with water, I lost my hat and wallowed around breaking the fishing rod in at least four pieces. In the process I managed to stick the hook in the fly in my left thumb…… I said darn and shux and oh fudge …
I wallowed around and finally found a flat spot on the bottom of the river and when I stood up the waders were full of water and I looked like bozo the clown. The weight of the water overcame the strength of the plastic and the waders exploded in the crotch. There I stood with the suspenders still over my shoulders in a set of blown out waders. I said heck and shux. I stumbled and waded out of the current finding a low place to crawl out of the river.
My fly rod was gone. My hat was gone, my waders were busted and I had a hook in my thumb. I crawled out on the bank and sat down. It was about that time that I noticed a man on a horse about twenty feet from
‘’ do you know you are trespassing mister?’’
‘’ old man McKenna don’t allow no fishin in this river mister. Of course no one could accuse you of actually fishing’’ ‘’you seemed to be mostly stumbling around like someone from back east’’
I asked him if he would like a donut and a beer and he said he wasn’t interested. He did tell me that he would help me get the tracker off the cottonwood tree and show me the way off the ranch.
I got the hook out of my thumb and the cowboy hooked his horse to the tracker and I managed to get back on the dirt road and headed out toward the motor home.

On the road with SEAJAY and Willa

Monday, February 2, 2009

WILLAS BIRTHDAY


WILLAS BIRTHDAY IS ON FEB 12. WE ARE USUALLY IN FLORIDA ON HER BIRTHDAY SO IT IS NOT THAT EASY TO ''BUY HER SOMETHING'' FOR HER BIRTHDAY.
I HAVE STARTED LOOKING AT THE ''CARS ON EBAY'' JUST OUT OF CURISOTY. IN JANUARY I WAS LOOKING THRU THE CARS ON E BAY AND I CAME ACROSS A LUXXOR CONVERTABLE. I POINTED IT OUR TO WILLA AND SHE SAID IT WAS JUST LIKE THE ONE SHE SEEN LAST YEAR DOWN AT BOBS CLASSICS. WE WERE BY THERE AND THEY HAD A RED LUXXOR IN THE SHOWROOM. WILLA WENT NUTS OVER IT AND I ASKED THE PRICE OF THE CAR. BOB TOLD ME THE CAR WAS ALREADY SOLD TO A PERSON IN THE ''FAR EAST SAND BOX''. WHEN WE SEEN THE CAR ON E BAY I SUGGESTED WE WOULD BID ON IT AND MAYBE WIN THE BID AND SHE WOULD GET HER LUXXOR. I HAD THE TOP BID ON THE CAR AND IT WAS REMOVED FROM E BAY ABOUT TWENTY HOURS BEFORE THE AUCTION WAS OVER. I HAD CALLED JIM THE BUILDER OF THE CAR EARLIER WITH QUESTIONS CONCERNING THE CAR. HE FINALLY CALLED ME AND SAID HE WAS USING HIS SISTERS ACCOUNT ON E BAY AND IT RAN OUT BEFORE THE AUCTION WAS OVER. I SUGGESTED HE GIVE ME A PRICE ON THE CAR AND WE REACHED AN AGREEMENT ON THE PRICE. HE IS NOW FINISHING THE CAR IN THE COLORS WILLA LIKES AND IT WILL BE DELIVERED ON OR ABOUT MARCH 15th. WE WILL TAKE THE COACH UP AND SHE WILL DRIVE IT HOME AFTER TEST RUNNING IT FOR A FEW DAYS.
I AM INCLUDING ONE PICTURE OF THE CAR AND A WEB LINK IF YOU WANT TO SEE MORE PIX OF THE CARS JIM BUILDS. WILLA WANTED IT IN RED WITH A TAN INTERIOR AND TOP ...
http://www.autoillusionsinc.com/cars.html

Friday, December 26, 2008

THE CAMPFIRE

“Oh honey, when we stop tonight lets build a big campfire and have a weenie roast. We can bake some potatoes in the hot ashes and roast some marshmallows too.”
We pulled into the Bear Trap camp ground and as I registered I noticed bundles of firewood stacked in the office. The sign said “Firewood 3.00 per bundle”
“Say pal, is there any place around here that I can get my own firewood”?
“Sure is mister. Just go out the road in the back of the campground and you can gather all you want for free.”
I thanked him and after the van was set up I got the ax our from under the “stuff” in the back of the tracker. Now it should be understood that I actually found this ax. The handle is split and held together by black tape. The head on the ax is loose but I have driven a couple of nails in it and bent then over to help hold it on. The ax is pretty dull but it works well for driving things in the ground. I dropped the ax in the passengers seat and headed out toward the back of the campground. The road went from the campground over a hill and down onto the side of a mountain. I eased along looking for a tree. I spotted one up an embankment that was perfect. It was dead and very close to the edge of the top of the embankment. I retrieved my trusty ax and climbed the embankment. This will be easy I said to myself. I gave the rotten tree a kick and two of the limbs fell from the top of the tree. I took my trusty ax and gave the old tree a good whack.
At this point it should be understood that because some of the limbs on a tree are rotten, the rest of the tree might not be rotten. Sometimes the tree is simply dried out and turns to the consistency of high carbon steel.
The ax simply went into the trunk of the tree about half an inch and stuck fast. After some twisting and wiggling I got the ax unstuck. I changed my stance and with great determination, delivered a Paul Bunion swing with the ax.
Things started happening in a sort of a “slow motion” , “rapid succession” situation.
First…… my right foot slipped over the edge of the ten foot embankment.
Second as my foot slid over the embankment, I lost my balance and my point of aim with the ax.
Third upon “loosing my point of aim” with the ax and due to the velocity I had swung the ax, I was unable to “stop” the ax midswing.
Fourth the ax handle hit the tree about one inch below the ax head. The handle broke clean leaving the ax head flying thru space like a rocket.. The ax head skipped across the top of the tracker cutting a slice about four inches long in the cloth top. I completely lost my balance and tumbled down the ten foot embankment to a large puddle at the bottom. I still had the ax handle in my hand. A few more rotten limbs rained down on me as I wallowed in the puddle using the broken ax handle for a crutch. I regained my feet and realized that I had lost the keys to the tracker. I searched the embankment and the edge of the road. Using my fingers I sifted the mud and after about thirty minutes of “sifting mud” I flopped in the seat of the tracker for a rest. The keys were still in the ignition switch.
I returned to the van with a few rotten limbs and an ax handle for firewood. Willa was setting at the kitchen table watching French television and eating a bacon lettuce and tomato sandwich.
“I figured you were never coming back so I fixed me something to eat”. “you look like you have been wrestling a pig, and you lost”. “I’ll get you some clean clothes and a bucket of water because the showers are closed by now”. “I am going to go to bed to read, you can fix your own supper”.
I had a can of cold beans and went to sleep on the sofa again.

THE ADVENTURE CONTINUES

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

FISHIN ON THE ALCAN

SEAJAY AND Willa THE ADVENTURE CONTINUES
Since fishing is a big part of my life and its one of the reasons I wanted to go to Canada and Alaska, I made it a point to stop at camp grounds that advertised fishing in their lakes or ponds.
“Did that campground advertise fishing”?
“I think the sign said they had a private pond”.
“If it does, are you ready to stop for the night. I sure would like to do some fishing”.
It was getting over in the evening when we pulled in a “The Shade Tree” campground. I parked the van and went into the combination office, grocery store, drug store, filling station, post office and garage.
“You got any campsites”?
“ Got one left, fifteen bucks, Canadian”.
“The sign says you got a fish pond. Any fish in it”?
“Yep, I stocked it this past spring. Just release what you catch”.
I handed the guy fifteen dollars and registered. We pulled around back and discovered that the one remaining campsite was between the dumpster and the outhouse. It was wider than the van, but just a little. I eased the van back and went into a hole about two feet deep.
“I’ll level the van later. I want to go fishin’ while its still light outside”.
“You gonna set up the dish so I can watch Wheel of Fortune”?
“Willa, I don’t have time. I want to get to the fishing lake before it gets too late. The guy said that he had stocked it with trout and I ain’t done no fishin on this whole trip and here is a good spot because it’s a stocked pond”.
“What about the wheels in the hole? The van is so unlevel that I cant keep the pans on the stove to cook supper”.
“I’ll level the van when I get back. I’m goin fishin”.
Willa was not real happy about this but she didn’t say anything.
I grabbed a fishing rod from the back of the van and picked up a box of tackle and started following the sign that said “FISH POND”. It came as a surprise that the fish pond was in the middle of a large meadow with several cows inside a barb wire fence. I climbed over the fence and ripped the knee out of my jeans. I started walking across the meadow and the cows started following me. I guess they thought I was there to feed them. While watching the cows following me I stepped in to a nice fresh cow pie. My foot went up to the ankle and my sneaker immediately turned a dark shade of “cow poo”. Undaunted, I proceeded toward what I assumed was a pond. I arrived at the edge of the pond after fighting my way thru chest high weeds and cat tails.
The “pond” was about as big as a small swimming pool and it looked like it may be three feet deep in the middle. There were some trees on the far side of the pond. I got out a lure and tied it on the line while three cows watched. I got tangled in the weeds twice trying to cast the lure and on the third try I succeeded in casting all the way across the “pond” and tangling the lure in a tree. Frustration overcame me and I gave the lure a mighty heave. I succeeded in breaking the rod and the line and dislodged a big hornets nest. It’s amazing how hornets seem to know just where the person is that has demolished their home and somewhere between ten and twenty thousand hornets sought revenge upon me. In my retreat I managed to step in another “cow pie” with my “still clean” sneaker. I abandoned the broken rod and the tackle box and beat a hasty retreat back toward the camper. I had forgotten about the barb wire fence. I must have hit the fence doing about forty miles per hour. My body wrapped around the top strand and I ripped my shirt as I tumbled over the fence. The cows watched the whole procedure with great interest.
Ragged and bleeding, I made my way back to the van. I had ripped my pants, torn my shirt, scratched my belly, broke one of the best graphite rods I ever owned and had lost a whole tackle box full of lures. My sneakers were the color of cow poop and smelled like a pasture and I had missed supper.
“Well great fisherman, where are the fish”?
I ignored the question.
“Have you been wading in cow poop”?
I ignored the question.
“I guess you know that you have missed supper and I have missed my Wheel of Fortune”.
“Quit makin stupid comments and get me a bucket of water and some more clothes”.
I really should not have said that. The change of clothes was tossed out the door along with a clean pair of sneakers. She simply set the bucket of water on the step and slammed the door.
I went to the outhouse and washed off. I put on the clean clothes and went back to the van to find Willa had already gone to bed and there was a can of cold beans on the table with a spoon beside it. I watched a little French television and slept on the couch

first cookout on the alaska highway

THE TRAVEL ODYSSEY OF SEAJAY AND WILLA

THIS IS A FIRST PERSON NARRATIVE OF THE TRIALS, TRIBULATIONS AND THE FUN OF MOTOR HOMING IN A THIRTY THREE FOOT PACE ARROW WITH TWO DOGS AND TWO SLIDES AND ONE WIFE.




The first cook out on the Alaska Highway
Lets have a cook out tonight. We can get the grill out and cook some steaks. I will make some baked potatoes in the oven and we can have a nice meal out of doors on the picnic table.
Wonderful idea. We stopped for the nite and set up camp. The camp sight was the last one available and it was on a hill. I mean a real hill. It took all the blocks I had to get the front of the van up to level. When you jack up the front of the van you raise the steps at the door also. Our steps were at least eighteen inches from the ground to the bottom step. I warned Willa about this and made a mental note of the same. I slid a picnic table over to the side of the van and finally found enough flat rocks to get one end of the table level. I unrolled the awning and got out the grill. Willa went inside and started preparations for everything as I hooked the hose to the propane tank under the van. I checked the bad place in the hose that I had repaired a few years ago. It seemed fine because I put some spit on the tape over the break to check for leaks. No leaks. As I went to set up the grill I noticed that the round plastic control handle on the front of the regulator was cracked. I assumed it had slid around in the compartment and smashed against the wall. It was made of plastic and it had numbers on it so you could regulate the gas supply and regulate the heat of the grill. I sat the grill on the table and reached for my match. I lit the match and stuck it thru the bottom hole in the grill and turned the plastic knob to start the gas to the grill. When I turned the knob it split in half and fell on the table. Hummmmmmmmmm ……. I reached in my tool compartment and found my long nose vise grips. There was a small stem sticking out where the plastic handle had been attached so I clicked the vise grips on stem and turned it. The grill lit almost instantly. I decided it was the best idea to leave the vise grips on the little stem so I could regulate the fire in the grill. The greatest problem was that the weight of the vise grips kept turning the grill up too high. To resolve this I found a small sardine can and put it under the handle of the vise grips and that solved the problem. Willa had marinated the steaks and they were ready for the grill so I stepped to the door to get the meat for the fire. As I stepped for the door I got my foot tangled in the gas hose and I accidentally jerked the grill sideways on the picnic table. In doing so the left back leg got caught in the crack between the boards on the picnic table. This broke the leg off flush with the bottom of the grill. It also disturbed the vice grips and they flipped over and fell on the ground under the table. Fire shot out of the top of the grill because it was now turned wide open. To my amazement the broken plastic knob was also the limiter concerning the amount of gas going to the grill. Without the plastic knob you could turn the grill up very high. Much higher than intended. I squatted down and crawled under the table looking for the vise grips. In doing so I put my knee in a pile of dog poop someone had not cleaned up. I said ‘’shux’’ .I found the vise grips, crawled out from under the table, locked the vise grips on the stem and turned the gas back down. Now the grill would rock on the three legs that were still attached to the grill. I looked around and found a small Van Camps Pork and Bean can that was almost the perfect height to go under the back of the grill to replace the broken off leg. I adjusted the fire again and slid my sardine can under the handle of the vise grips. Everything was fine. I got the steaks from Willa and put on the grill to cook. I lowered the lid to speed the cooking. When I lowered the lid I noticed it was sitting kinda off center of the grill. I looked at the back of the grill and noticed one of the hinges on the top of the grill was cracked and just dangling. I found a piece of barbwire and twisted it around the broken hinge. This seemed to fix the lid but when you opened the lid instead of stopping in the vertical position like it should, it flopped all the way down on the table. I found a piece of a stump to lean the grill lid against when I wanted to leave it open. I was very careful with this since we wanted steaks and this was the only grill we had. I eased the steaks on the grill and carefully closed the lid. It should be mentioned here that the handle on the lid has long been gone from the front of the lid. There is one quarter inch bolt with a string around it that is used for a handle to open the lid of the grill.
Ahhhhhhhhh the wonderful smell of steaks on an open fire. I decided that the steaks would cook better if I had a beer in one hand while I tended the steaks on the grill.
‘’Willa, would you bring me a beer please.’’
Things kinda went down hill from here on.
First….. As I reached for the door I stumbled on the high step. I fell sideways and bumped into the picnic table. This caused the table legs to slide off the rocks that I was using to level the table. In doing so things started happening in slow motion.
Two… When the picnic table legs dropped off piles of rocks the table slumped down and the grill slid sideways. In doing so the grill hopped off the Van Camp Pork and Bean can making the grill slump sideways causing the vise grips to fall off the sardine can. This caused the vise grips to fall and turn the gas wide open and fire shot out the sides of the grill. This also caused the vise grips to pop off the stem on the gas regulator valve. The vise grips fell back under the table again.
Three… In a panic I grabbed the string on the grill lid and yanked the lid open causing it to completely break off the grill. Fire shot up about three feet. Our steaks were turning to charcoal and my awning over the grill was turning brown from the heat from the flames. In a panic I tried to turn off the gas using my fingers. No way.
The awning was starting to get really hot and I knew I had to do something quick or we would be in real trouble. I grabbed my spatula and tossed the burning steaks out in the road. I grabbed the lid and set it back on the grill. This caused the flames to go sideways instead of straight up. I looked around for something to throw on the awning to keep it from catching fire. All I could find was a bottle of Worcester Sauce. I ripped off the cap and tried to fling the sauce on the now melting awning.
By some mericle Willa popped open the door with a beer in her hand she was bringing me. I grabbed it and cracked the tab and shook the can. It worked well in putting out the now scorching awning. When the beer stopped spurting out of the can I scrambled under the picnic table to find the vise grips. I put my other knee in the dog poop again. I got the vise grips on the regulator valve and turned off the gas


‘’What the heck are you doing out here?’’ ‘’Where are our steaks?’’ ‘’Are you trying to set the van on fire?’’ ‘’Why do you have dog poop on your clothes?’’ Willa asked.

My response was not what she wanted to hear and can not be printed here but I can assure you she was not pleased. She simply slammed the door in a huff.
‘’I’m fixing me a B.L.T. you can fend for yourself’’……..
I scraped all the dog poop I could off my jeans and put away my grill as best I could. I saved the cans so we could use the grill again in the future.
An hour later I went inside there was a can of cold beans and a spoon on the table. There was also a note explaining that she had gone to bed to read and did not want to be disturbed…………….
I ate the beans and watched some French television and slept on the sofa……..

The adventure continues …………….

WILLAS POEM

This is a poem I wrote for Willa on our second anniversary

FOUR YEARS AGO IN WAL MART STORE I SAW A PRETTY LADY
SHE HAD BROWN EYES, A PRETTY SMILE
I WONDERED IF SHE'D TALK A WHILE.

I SMILED AT HER,
SHE SMILED AT ME
I LOOKED AWAY AND THEN
TURNED BACK TO HER AND GAVE A SMILE
SHE SMILED AT ME AGAIN

WE SAT AND TALKED 'ORE COFFEE COLD
BOUT HOW OUR LIVES HAD BEEN
I TOUCHED HER HAND
SHE SMILED AT ME
AND THEN SHE SMILED AGAIN....

TWO HOURS FLEW BY
TWAS TIME TO GO
AND THIS I CANT DENY
I ASKED IF I MIGHT HAVE A KISS
AND THEN WE'D SAY GOOD BYE

''NOT HERE YOU FOOL
THERE'S PEOPLE ROUND AND CAMERAS IN THE SKY
JUST FOLLOW ME TO POTS AND PANS
AND THERE WE'LL SAY GOOD BYE

FOUR YEARS AGO IN WAL-MART STORE I MET A PRETTY LADY
SHE HAS BROWN EYES, A PRETTY SMILE
I HOPE SHE'LL STAY A LONG LONG WHILE .....
SEAJAY CECIL